106 lines
3.6 KiB
HTML
106 lines
3.6 KiB
HTML
<!doctype html>
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<html lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8">
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<title>Laws of Cartoon Physics</title>
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<style>
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body {
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width : 960px;
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margin:auto;
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}
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</style>
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</head>
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<body>
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<h1>
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<cite>Laws of Cartoon Physics</cite>
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by Mark O'Donnell
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</h1>
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<nav>
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<ul>
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<li><a href="#law-1">Law 1</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-2">Law 2</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-3">Law 3</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-4">Law 4</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-5">Law 5</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-6">Law 6</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-7">Law 7</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-8">Law 8</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-9">Law 9</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-10">Law 10</a></li>
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<li><a href="#law-11">Law 11</a></li>
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</ul>
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</nav>
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<h2 id="law-1">Cartoon Law I (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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Any body suspended in space will remain suspended in space until made aware of
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its situation. A character steps off a cliff but remains in midair until looking
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down, then the familiar principle of 16 feet per second squared takes over.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-2">Cartoon Law II (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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A body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its
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perimeter called the silhouette of passage.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-3">Cartoon Law III (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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The time required for an object to fall 20 stories is greater than or equal to
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the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down 20 flights
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to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless; the
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attempt to capture it, inevitably unsuccessful.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-4">Cartoon Law IV (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-5">Cartoon Law V (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly
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away from the ground. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will
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introduce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop or the
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crest of a flagpole.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-6">Cartoon Law VI (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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The feet of a running character or the wheels of a speeding auto need never
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touch the ground, ergo fleeing turns to flight.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-7">Cartoon Law VII (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-8">Cartoon Law VIII (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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A painted tunnel entrance may or may not be traversable
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-9">Cartoon Law IX (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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Certain bodies can pass through a solid wall painted to resemble tunnel
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entrances; others cannot. ... Whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to
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trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The
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painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the
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painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not science.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-10">Cartoon Law X (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats can be
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sliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled or disassembled, but they cannot be
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destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self-pity, they reinflate, elongate,
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snap back or solidify.
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</p>
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<h2 id="law-11">Cartoon Law XI (<a href="#">top</a>)</h2>
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<p>
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Everything falls faster than an anvil.
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</p>
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</body>
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</html>
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